Encourage Yourself to Songwriting Success

And David was greatly distressed; for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God. 1 Samuel 30:6

I guess it’s because we start our week with a coaching group on Monday nights, but I always start thinking about our songwriting clients on Sunday afternoon.

It’s quite predictable that sometime post-lunch and pre-nap, my mind will start drifting towards the week to come and I’ll find my heart sending love and prayers out to my current and past clients. I actually start seeing your faces in my mind and hearing snippets of your songs in my ears, smiling to myself as I remember your struggles and progress. It’s an absolute joy to serve you.

Then, despite my sleepy eyes, I’ll think of something I really want to say to each of you and I’ll have to pull out the laptop and type out a little post for you, just like this one. The nap can wait a few more minutes, right?

So, today, I want to exhort you guys to learn how to encourage yourselves.

Truth is, coaching is about encouraging other people. To encourage is to “give courage.” We all need a little extra courage sometimes, so our coaching calls are aimed at helping you make as much out of the online training as possible, as well as to zero in on what’s working for you and what’s not. A lot of time I find myself just trying to boost your belief in yourself and your talent. You are talented. God has called you. You have strengths to be honed and weaknesses to be identified and worked around, sure, but you have to believe it the most. I can’t believe in your dream more than you do.

One of the greatest keys to anyone’s success is the ability to encourage themselves, or, to give themselves courage when courage is nowhere to be found. Songwriting requires as much courage, if not more, as anything else. You’re not only trying to write a great song, but you’re going to put it out for people to hear and judge. Songs aren’t written to be hidden, but to be heard. This is risky stuff. You start asking yourself, “What if no one likes it? What if I’m not really talented? What if I can’t figure out how to use imagery or write great melodies? How will I then live?!”

Any successful art form is a blend of skill and mindset. There are plenty of talented artists who never make it anywhere because they lack the courage and the tenacity to pursue their place. There are also plenty of tenacious people who never gain the real skills they need and thus continue to foist very mediocre songs on the world (just cruise Youtube for proof). But the combination of talent, skill, and courage are unbeatable.

But what do you do when you’re unhappy with a critique? Seriously – what do you do? Do you sulk? Pout? Get mad? Quit? Get depressed? Feel despondent? Eat more to dull the pain of rejection? None of that helps, believe me. I’ve tried it all and none of it makes the song better. Only a quality decision to get back up and go at it again ever makes songs mature. This is easier for some than for others, admittedly, depending on your propensity for self-pity. Mine is pretty high and a lot of my personal development has been spent on losing the victim attitude and taking full responsibility for my own growth.

Which brings me to what I want to say to you today.

Bishop T.D. Jakes has been quoted as saying something like, “Sometimes you have to get your own little cupcake, put a candle in it, and celebrate yourself.” Amen. Sometimes you have to stop looking for the approval of others and decide to approve of yourself. If your song isn’t all it needs to be yet, approve and applaud yourself for making the kind of effort you’re making to make it better. Don’t wait for the world to applaud.

I love the verse above from 1 Samuel where it says that “David encouraged himself.” That is a skill I’ve had to learn to keep myself going in times when no one was around to do it for me. You might not have anyone encouraging you in your songwriting. You may have no one who understands your dream and even have people saying negative things about your age, your status, your season in life, or even your songs. Maybe people are negative about “the music business” and tell you there’s no way you’ll ever have a song recorded or even heard past your living room.

These are the times you have to encourage yourself.

These are the times you have to let other people’s words and attitudes roll off your back and just go write some more. These are the times you have to “feel the fear and do it anyway,” realizing that no one else can write your songs. No one else can push the pen or plunk the chords or imagine thousands of people singing your words but you. If you don’t do it, it won’t happen.

David was in a pickle in 1 Samuel 30.

The Amalekites had raided Ziklag, the place where David and all of his men’s families lived. All the women and children had been taken captive and their city burned to the ground.

Here’s how the Bible tells it:

David and his men reached Ziklag on the third day. Now the Amalekites had raided the Negev and Ziklag. They had attacked Ziklag and burned it, and had taken captive the women and everyone else in it, both young and old. They killed none of them, but carried them off as they went on their way.

When David and his men reached Ziklag, they found it destroyed by fire and their wives and sons and daughters taken captive.

So David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep. David’s two wives had been captured—Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail, the widow of Nabal of Carmel. David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the Lord his God.

David and his men “wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep.” Has that ever happened to you? Has grief welled up so severely in your heart that you literally wept until you had no strength left with which to weep? David and the guys were messed up. And not only did they grieve for their wives and children, but then David’s men starting blaming David and they started thinking about stoning him. That’s when David “found strength in the Lord His God,” or, as the other translation put it, that’s when David “encouraged himself in the Lord His God.” He got a cupcake, lit a candle, and sang his own little song to strengthen himself before these guys ripped his nappy little head from his brawny shoulders.

Somehow it worked.

If you read the rest of the chapter, David rallied most of his men after getting a prophetic word from Abiathar, the priest, and they kicked the Amalekites backsides, reclaiming all the stolen property and recovering every wife and child. Not one was lost.

But the point is this – David was in one of the toughest spots of his while life. No one was there to help him. Even his own men were turning against him and he could’ve become Israel’s decapitated king that day had he not taken the right mental attitude in this desperate moment.

Odds are neither you nor I will ever be faced with our towns being burned or our spouses and children being carted off as slaves. Could happen, I guess, but not likely. But, you and I will be faced with the challenges of being songwriters for as long as we decide to be songwriters. Not everyone will love our songs. Even we won’t love all of our songs and have to fight off the little gremlins that taunt us and scream at us in that horrible, high-pitched, shrill voice, “You’re not a real songwriter! You’re not a real songwriter!”

What will we do then? Fold up? Quit? Cry?

I hope not.

If I haven’t taught you anything else, I hope that I’ve taught you that becoming a great Christian songwriter is something that takes a long time and certainly more than these eight weeks together. This “boot camp” is designed to give you the skills and mindset you need to write well for the rest of your life. It’s about equipping and training you, wherever you start, to see clearly what it will take to write the kinds of songs you dream of and then take inspired action toward making that happen. It’s not easy. If it were, everyone would be doing it, right?

Courage. Hope. Tenacity. Stick-to-it-iveness.

People who blame others for their own lack of desire and effort will never make it. People who indulge in self-pity will never make it. People who decide to do laundry instead of write (when laundry cold be done another time) will never make it. Only those who learn the art of self-nurturing and self-encouragement will have a chance to fight through all the forces that mitigate against them to accomplish their goals and see their songs have some success.

And, most often, the deadliest, most debilitating thing working against us is our own self-talk. Aren’t you ready to make it stop? I know I am. I think it’s time we learn to do what David did, encouraging himself in a moment that could have ended not only his reign as king, but his very life. If he could do it, we can, right?

Now.

 Let’s go get that cupcake.